My mother makes fun of my SO's job?

Question

Okay so my boyfriend and I met at work and I'm a waitress and he's a bartender and a waiter. Therefore he doesn't make much? ( according to my mother. I think he makes really decent.)  " he's 29 he shouldn't be serving tables still, where are you gonna be in 9 years?" I always hear this every time hes over or we talk about him. I'm
Not materialistic at all, I just want actual real love and affection. Plus this man makes me laugh, and humor is very very important so my mom will say " there are tons of men that make more than him and can make you laugh." Considering I'm 20 my mom has tons to say about me seeing my boyfriend she thinks hes " a dead end." But I constantly see him trying and working really hard. It makes me sad my family likes to make fun of him in terms of his life...how do I get them to stop:.?

Answer

i know plenty couples with humble beginnings that eventually had either great careers or became successful entrepreneurs TOGETHER because they were good for one another. I heard a man will go as far as his good woman supports him. so go girl! one thing I will say on the side of your mom is to always be honest with yourself. if you find that what he wants and what you want are just too different, find a way to be okay with that. people come into our lives for two things: and that's a reason or a season. personally my last relationship taught me how to be a FRIEND to my future husband. So all that to say, really enjoy your boyfriend, and really enjoy your job, and really enjoy your life. embrace it all girl

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my mom has done the same thing honestly I have told my mother to back off its not her relationship or her man, it's what you want, if he treats you great, money isn't everything!

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Honestly you are just going to have to get over the judgemet. I'm a server/bartender myself (even though I have a BFA from NYU) and I can't tell you how many people judge me for not having "a real job". It used to bother me, but I LOVE my life so I don't need anyone else's approval! Also when my mom saw one of my W2s I think she was shocked how well I do lol. If you and your man are happy who cares what anyone (even your mom) thinks?!

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My parents didn't like my boyfriend when we first started dating (we were 15). My dad would tell anyone who listened that it was just my first relationship and it wouldn't last. He was too immature, self-centered, played too many video games, whatever excuse he could find. Fast forward 13 years, we're 28 and have been married 4 and a half years. My family adores him and love spending time with him. If your guy is a good person (by YOUR standards, not theirs!), stand up for him and tell your family to back off. They will come around eventually!

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My mom has done the same thing and I haven’t really talked to her in a year. I told her to back off it’s not her relationship and if she doesn’t like it oh well. He treats me right and that’s all that matters

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While your mom wants the best for you, you have to decide if you are going to draw boundaries. If you decide to draw a boundary you need to make it clear that you care about this man and you will not engage in critical or negative talk about him moving forward. Let her know if she is going to cross that boundary then you are going to RESPECTFULLY walk away from the conversation. She is your mom; Always honor her. You are a young adult and you need to decided what your boundaries are. She has expressed her concern several times. However, if you have made your choice then that is it. She should respect your choice and not nag you about it or try to make you live the life she feels you should live.   Her intentions are good and her heart is in the right place... she has wisdom from age and experience so she is telling you what she sees as best from her experience.
I agree with you that happiness, being connected and love are more important than status and money. There are other guys but if you have found your guy then there is no one else. :-) Pray about it! Best!!

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When moms and in laws get involvee in your relationship it can be superrrrr annnnoying

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sounds to me you are grown and should stop letting your mother do from who you are with if you are happy that's all that matters explain to her that your happy and that you yourself know he is trying and if she can't accept that then she needs to have the decency to keep her mouth shut.   I understand she's your mom and to me it's sounds your close and she trys to manipulate you to do what she wants.

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Girl out of personal experience it’s always going to happen. My parents tell me my fiancé has no future. He manages a grocery store and just got offered a corporate position for the end of this year. They still say he’s a dead end. Parents will be parents, no one will ever live up to their expectations.

Answer

it make take some time but your an adult so parents will always think they known what is best for you and for who is best for your life and future they don't want to see you hurt but if you really love this man and he really loves and supports you then if I was you I would just sit my folks down and tell them I love him and I respect him as a man and for the things he is trying to do so my parents should respect him too as of he is in my life and and if they still can't stop cut them off for a away sometimes they need to see the hard way.. hope everything works out

My mother makes fun of my SO's job?

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