why is spotting "normal" during pregnancy 😔

A couple weeks ago at 11w2d I was at work and I felt a gush but I dismissed it. after a while I went to the bathroom and noticed a fluid but I had on dark undies so I just thought maybe discharge. later when I got off I realized I was spotting pink and we freaked out and went to the ER. They said it normal but checked everything out. I spotted for 2days and then nothing. I went for regular office visit a few day days later for my first prenatal appt. at 12wks.They checked me again and she poked around "to see if I would bleed again" but nothing so she said hopefully I was in the clear from now but that it was normal if I did. here we are a week later. I cramped a little last night a woke up with brown spotting this time and I hate it. Even if it's normal, it just doesn't seem right. I know every pregnancy is different but I never spotted at all for my 1st one and not even implantation for this one. it's just so nerve wrecking. We have tried for 3 yrs for this baby, I get sick to my stomach every time I see even a drop of spotting. Has anyone else dealt with spotting regularly and how do you cope with it?