My father for the last two years has had bladder cancer on and off, this time round he had just had surgery and was told it might be worst then what they think and that it may have be further through..

They told my father that in a month when he's next Surgey is if it has gone through that far they will need to take he's bladder and prostate out and he will never have sex or pee or poop again ( obviously, sorry for tmi). My father said if it comes to that he will refuse it and let the cancer beat him this time, ( he is completely buggerd and drained and is afraid of living with out a bladder or prostate).

For some reason I have no feeling towards the situation at all and I feel horrible for not doing so, I love my dad so much, he's my bestfriend, the person I always go to for anything, I can't imagine loosing him at all. But for some reason I can't come to terms that this is actually real and that I could loose my father? is this normal to feel this way, if so what is going on with me?? please don't judge, I need some understanding on what is going on with me