In 2016 I was pregnant with twins, one boy and one girl. I was due on May 8th but on March 11th I began to have pressure that wasn't painful but I figured I should go to the hospital just in case. We arrived feeling somewhat excited that we could meet our little ones but nervous that they were going to be so small at just under 32 weeks. They hooked me up and confirmed it was contractions and that's when they began looking for the heartbeats. It's common for twins to hide behind one another so when they could only find one heartbeat I wasn't too panicked as this had happened before. They brought an ultrasound tech in and I immediately knew something was wrong by the look on her face. My doctor was away on a trip so his fill in came into the room and told me our sweet little Vivian Kay had passed away and that's what was making me contract. My husband and I instantly felt our world crumble.

I thanked God our son was ok while on the other hand I couldn't understand why this had to happen to our daughter. On Sunday March 13th our little boys heartbeat began to drop and I was rushed for an emergency C-section. Hunter Timothy was born at 4lbs 9oz 17.5in long and the most perfect thing I had ever seen in my life. The instant love I had for him was nothing like I had ever known before

I had been scheduled for a regular doctors appointment Monday morning and the doctors said if my daughter hadn't caused me to contract I would have lost both of them. I began to think his sister must be his guardian angel that saved her brothers life. After they whisked him away to the NICU we were taken to a recovery room where I would hold my daughter for the first and last time while slipping in and out from the morphine. I don't remember much and that's probably what hurts the most seeing as it was my only chance to be with her. I'm grateful for every moment I carried her and I will always love her with my whole heart.

Fast forward to September 2017.. my son is healthy and ornery as can be. We decide he's old enough and we are ready to have another baby. And we are luck enough to get pregnant the first time we try.

We were so excited for our rainbow baby but the whole time I just felt weird. 2 weeks after we found out I was pregnant I began to bleed and went to the hospital where I found out I had had a miscarriage and that soul crushing feeling came over me once again. I thought something had to be wrong with me so we went in for test with my OB and luckily he said everything looked fine but some of my levels were of so I'm now taking pills everyday to increase my chances of getting pregnant and be able to carry the pregnancy.

Now it's 2018 and I can't believe my little man is about to be 2!

Last month my husband and weren't really trying but just taking it easy and let it happen if it happened. Well when my AF was late I got so excited and started testing but negative after negative my heart broke. 4 days late my period showed up and I had a meltdown. My husband and I decided that after my AF is over we will really start trying and my period is expected February 13th so I'm praying I'll be able to test on Valentine's Day and tell my SO we are expecting our rainbow baby. Please send baby dust our way and I'll keep updating.