I love my husband, but...

I seriously feel like a single mom sometimes. I’m a stay at home mom, and I am extremely appreciative that my husband works so hard to support this family. I never ask for his help, and I never ask for money. I don’t remember the last time I got myself anything besides necessities like deodorant. I just feel I shouldn’t because I don’t work; but that’s not because he makes me feel that way, just something I have to work on myself.

Anyway, I guess it’s because I don’t ask him to do anything, but he doesn’t DO ANYTHING. Our youngest is 8 months old, he changes a diaper (1 diaper) maybe every other day. He’s never given him a bath. He never does overnight feedings (because he works), and he’s never clipped nails, or cleaned ears, or taken him to doctor appointments. Our oldest is 3.5 years old. He’s pretty good at giving himself a bath and he likes his privacy, so we check on him every few minutes and my husband will help with that. My husband doesn’t cook dinner, or do laundry, or sweep/mop, or clean anything really. He doesn’t take the trash out, he doesn’t make the beds every morning... I do it all, and he works, plays video games and goes out with his friends once a week.

I get it, I’m a stay at home mom. It’s my job. But on his days off, why can’t he just HELP? Seriously this morning he got up before I did, and I guess I just assumed he’d handle the morning duties for once. He comes back in the bedroom 30 minutes later and he’s taken a shower and I can hear his video game started in the background. I get up, my oldest hadn’t had breakfast yet, my youngest was still in his crib with a dirty diaper, crying because he hadn’t been given a bottle yet, and my husbands first thing is his shower? And a video game? So I go to change the baby and he’s all like “No let me, I was gonna...” I hate that. So I did it all, got them breakfast, changed the baby, finished folding the last load of laundry, made the beds, cleaned the breakfast dishes up, and then finally had my morning pee and brushed my teeth.

Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe I just need to let it go. But I’m seriously so done doing it alone, my husband is not just a paycheck, he is a husband and he is a father also. And I need a damn break for five minutes every now and then. I’ve locked myself in the room just the type this and the kids have come in twice, he’s still playing his video game, and I just am furious at how selfish he has been this morning. How do I even say this to him without just exploding? Without hurting his feelings? Without making him feel unappreciated for his hard work at work? Ugh, thanks for letting me vent. Feel free to vent below too.

Update: So thanks to your advices, I have talked to my husband. I told him that I was starting to feel unappreciated and wished he would help out a bit more to take a bit of load of my back and I instantly became a nagging bitch that doesn’t appreciate the help he does give. After about ten minutes of trying to have a civil talk with him, I finally went to the bathroom to calm down. When I came back, he’s asking why I needed to calm down and obviously he is the best person ever and I am just a nagging bitch of a wife, so I exploding and gave him examples of why I needed help (like putting his laundry in the hamper, not beside it, or actually hanging his towel back up after a shower), but of course, I’m still a bitch. I’m about to leave and go to the store for some groceries, so hopefully we both cool off and can try talking about it again because I don’t appreciate being talked down to like that.