Myself and my fiancé were expecting our first baby on 11th July, after trying for 2 years we thought we couldn’t have babies. I have had ongoing gynae problems after an abnormal smear test in 2016 I had 2 colposcopy biopsies in 2016 and in March 2017 I had surgery to remove some abnormal CIN3 cells and part of my cervix was lasered away. We genuinely thought we couldn’t have children but on 03.11.2017 the day before my partners grandfather died we found out we were 3+ weeks pregnant it felt like he had given us a gift. We were so excited! Due to Christmas and the new year our 12 week scan was late by the time we had it on 08.01.2018 we were 14 weeks, we thought everything was perfect until we went for the scan and our world was torn apart! Everything changed drastically over the course of the week! We had our first scan where we found out our baby has Spina Bifida 💔😔 they said the baby has got a myelomeningocele sack on its back and we would need to go to the Fetal Medicine Unit to have further tests to find out the severity of it. We paid to go privately to see the consultant on Wednesday 10th January and were able to see the same consultant that we would have seen in the Fetal Medicine Unit otherwise we would have been waiting until 22nd January. He gave us more bad news, he told us it would be a very severe form of Spina Bifida due to the location of the myelomeningocele the baby would be wheelchair bound, they would have bladder and bowel problems and wouldn’t be able to control their bowel and bladder so they would be double incontinent he basically told us they wouldn’t be able to do anything for themselves. Also there is a high risk that there would be brain damage and hydrocephalus because of the shape of the skull already, it’s a lemon shape and they wouldn’t be able to do anything for themselves so there would be no quality of life. It was a heartbreaking decision but we agreed to do what we thought was best for our little baby and have a tfmr and I delivered the baby on Saturday. We are absolutely heartbroken that we won’t ever hold our beautiful little baby. We will never forget this heartbreaking time in our lives but will always remember this precious memory of our baby sucking their thumb on the scan xxx