Over the weekend I had some friends come out for drinks to celebrate my recent birthday. Well mainly my best friend, a longtime friend from high school and friends that I’ve met through my best friend. I.e. friends that I’ve “gone out with” and have become a nice “party group”. I’ve known this group for almost a year, and have only hung out with them in this group setting.

Most of them left after the first place, after the second bar it boiled down to myself, as well as one of my longterm friend from high school, and a nice guy “John” (from the “party group”). I have more responsibility than most women in their early 20s, so I don’t get to go out drinking often. For whatever reason, I was determined to stay out til last call. My long term high school friend had to leave at 1am, so toward the end of the night it was just me and “John”. My memory is really fuzzy after 1am. I remember saying good bye to my friend and John said I would be safe with him/ensure I get home safely/etc. John is an incredibly great guy. I’ve always admired him, he’s hilarious, he has a career, and is 100% the type I would trust my life with (some people just radiate good vibrations). I remember grabbing a bite to eat, then texting my mom that I wouldn’t be coming home..but I don’t remember exactly how we got there..or who initiated what. But we slept together. I do remember clear as day when I basically begged for the D while receiving oral. I remember when he asked, and I consented with a solid “yes”. But I’m nervous I was really sloppy, I had nearly a full bush (aka getting laid was not on my list of priorities). I really wish I was able to sneak out that morning after, but my clothes were across the room and he woke up to get ready to leave as soon as I started getting dressed, and drove me home (I told him I could get an Uber and he said it was fine if he drove me home). I feel awkward af trying to talk to my best friend about it because all she said was “you banged John hahahahaha dude you have nothing to worry about, he’s super chill” etc. But I’m not up to par with these social rules of “wait til he texts you/wait 3 days”. But we went out Friday night and today on Monday, I have yet to hear from him. I just don’t want the next time that I see him to be super awkward or anything. But I don’t remember how things went. maybe if i knew I wasn’t all that bad, I’d keep the situation from ramping up my anxiety.

If you have any advice, I’d love to hear it!!!!