Am I in the wrong?

Yesterday I had an argument with my mother in law about smoking around my daughter who is almost 3 months old. I had sent her a message asking her to change her jumper and wash her hands when she comes in or not smoke whilst we are there (When we go down it’s usually in hour bursts) and if she didn’t do these things then I wouldn’t let her hold my daughter. I had no reason to for a few days and then sent a message saying that I hoped I hadn’t offended her and she told me to go down for a chat. So I sent my partner there after work to find out what sort of response I was going to get and he said it probably wouldn’t be good. So I went anyways and she acted like everything was fine so I said ok that’s cool. I’ll go home now cause you’ve smoked and I’m not just gonna act like I now don’t care about what I said.

^this was Friday ^

I then went down the following Monday because she was giving my partner loads of grief about what I had said and it was me that sent the message so if she had something to say then I’d rather she said it. Lots of things were said.. she told me I’m an ungrateful little girl and that I need to grow up and that I was hypocritical because I can’t care about my daughters health that much if we have dogs that sit on the sofas (BUT DOGS DONT CAUSE LUNG CANCER OR ASTHMA OR BRONCHITIS!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬) and if we had come home from the hospital and our baby was allergic to dogs they would have been gone that same day. Anyways, things got heated and I couldn’t stay calm any more because the things she was assuming about me and my family were making me so angry. She kept bringing my dad into it and saying the way he speaks to her son is disgusting and that she wouldn’t speak to her own kids like that let alone someone else’s whilst she’s sat there speaking to me like a piece of shit on her shoe. I walked out in the end. If I didn’t have my little girl with me I would have stayed and carried on a bit longer.

So I text my partner and say that he can go there or he can come to me first and he went there first 🙄

SHE TOLD HIM THAT I LEFT MY BABY IN THE BUGGY TO CRY SO I COULD SHOUT AND SWEAR AT HER!

which isn’t true snd I would never do that. She twisted everything to work in her favour. So he then comes home and starts asking me questions about things that were never said or that never happened.

Ugh! no one will probably make it this far down the post but my partner tries so he’s to keep his family together. His mum has made it so noone can see their dad and his dad hasn’t even met our daughter because Of the situation she caused.

I wasn’t asking her to quit smoking for good or she would never ever see her granddaughter. I just wanted a few rules put in place for the sake of my baby’s health. My health visitor doesn’t mention anything about the dogs when she is here and I never leave my baby with the dogs on her own. But my health visitor and every other care provider will always ask about smoking. So there’s my point. I had one midwife on day 10 after the birth of my little one who made a comment about our dachshund because she was trying to get past to come drink up the wee Harley did on the floor whilst stripped down for weighing... that’s it.

And... breathe x