Start back breastfeeding

Sorry I’ve been posting on here a lot Kinda..I’ve been torn and set on weaning my one year old, mostly because he doesn’t sleep but sleep training the last few nights has gone well..

So, I woke up one morning OVER it (the sleep loss more so than bf) and quit cold turkey for about 5 days now I haven’t nursed my son at all, it seemed right and I knew I would move on but he has been really really hard to get to drink any milk and water from a cup, it’s a chore all day to try and get him to drink.. would I really rather do this? Than conveniently nurse and him be satisfied.. he started getting constipated and super cranky for two days now... I keep telling him no all gone and offering him is milk cup but he doesn’t want it..

So today after 30 min of fussing ..I nursed him and it made me cry (probably hormones too but🤷‍♀️) his eyes immediately rolled back in his head and it’s all he wanted.. he was finally not fussy anymore and soooo satisfied.

Why am I pushing weaning sooo hard??

Idk part of me is worried about weaning an older more defiant toddler.. but he’s definitely just not ready he’s not...

I’m ready to make boundaries he was still comfort nursing whenever he wanted. He needs to stop pulling down my shirt, I NEED him to sleep, no more nursing at night.. none! Because with my son it’s all or nothing a 5 am feeding turns into 5 wakings the next night. I don’t mind it if it was consistent but it’s NOT..

I really don’t know what my plan is from here..

I guess I need to stop being uptight and not have a plan and that’s ok..

It was getting to the point I would go in my sons room and he would start crying because he thought I was going to put him down for a nap and he didn’t like going down with a cup. Just walking by his dark room sometimes not even nap time and he would break out in a pitiful cry because he thought I was gonna force he cup then lay him down.. how sad is that? I just nursed him down for his nap after 5 days of not and it was so satisfying.

Guess I’m still BF ...And honestly I as ready as I was to wean I feel so relieved. I wasn’t sure how I felt about extended bf but experiencing it has shown me how UNNATURAL it is to wean out of no where.. I do think it’s fine.. to draw lines.. and I do think it’s fine to just stop, in certain situations.. but I have no excuse.. he can nurse a little longer.. 😩😩🤱any extended BF resources you mamas love? Any tips on setting limits? Is it going to be hell trying to wean a toddler? Thanks for reading my rant why is this so tough? Part of me feels like I failed when I gave in..because I had gotten so far not nursing but part of me feels I did the most natural right thing for him.