If them, why not me?

Question

Sorry if this is a repeat... I heard about the couple in California who were horrifically abusive to their children... All I can think since then is why can they bring children into the world and I can't get pregnant?! Seems unfair to me.    Am I wrong to feel like this? Am I the only one?

Answer

Because fertility isn’t a merit based system. It comes down to individual biology, not who “deserves pregnancy.”

Answer

I read about that family too, the ones with 13 kids? So many people will say that "your fertility has nothing to do with others" and I agree that is true. But that also means that we shouldn't constantly be hearing that "it's just not your time yet" "It is all in God's plan" "you just aren't ready yet".
It is unfair that infertility only seems to get people who would be great parents.

Answer

It's most definitely not about "realizing this". I've been sexually responsible my entire life and now that I'm ready to have a child by the love of my life, it's not in the cards? Meeting people that get pregnant by accident 6+ times due to irresponsibility not happenstance, or reading news stories about people that should have had their children removed for their safety is hurtful.

Answer

A little bit of background on me... I was severely sexually abused from 18 months to about 5 years old. While I don't consider myself a victim anymore, I also can't help but feel victimized all over again every time AF comes to visit since my husband and I started TTC. whether it's a meritocracy or not, I still feel real pain  when I see something like this in the news.

Answer

Your fertility has nothing to do with them.

Answer

I see what you’re saying, and I hope you have as many babies as you want!!, but this has nothing to do with YOUR body.

If them, why not me?

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