Not sure where else to turn....

I’m pregnant and it was a planned baby.... my husband doesn’t have any of his own children so I wanted to be able to give him his own. I am 34, I have lupus sle and endometriosis. I had a endometrial ablation that failed 2 years ago and still left me with a regular period so I didn’t see any reason we couldn’t have a baby and after getting a sonohysterography and seeing no polyps and a nice uterine lining (as the US tech said the lining of someone who didn’t have an ablation) we decided to try one more time using preseed. Well here I am pregnant and it all happened so fast!!

My husband has been a complete jerk to me! Yes he’s excited but he’s seriously been the kind of person I don’t even want to be around lately let alone married to! I’m on progesterone 2 times a day at 200mg a pop to try to keep this baby in and it’s not only making me a complete hormonal mess but extremely depressed as well!

I work overnight shift and nothing is going right at work. My one client refuses to follow any sort of structure. I’m not sleeping at all maybe 2-3 hours a day and when I’m home I’m just miserable and don’t even want to be around my husband. I’m just done with everyone and everything.

My anxiety is at an all time high worrying I will miscarry this baby at all moment. Worrying that I will mentally be a mess again after and lose my sense of self worth more. I know I agreed to have another child but i also didn’t agree to do it alone and I feel so fucking alone right now!!

Sorry I just needed to get this out and maybe have someone tell me it will all be ok when I just feel like everything is crashing around me!!