Hold on to your hats, this might be a long one.

Growing up, I was raised that I was responsible for my own actions and emotions. This is the truth. However the rest of the world constantly tells us that it’s always somebody else’s fault that we feel terrible, or that we are angry, or that we lashed out. They continue with this, telling us that if only we had this new car, or that new phone, or could just get married, we will be happy.

Let me drop a truth bomb on you guys specifically on the married thing. GETTING MARRIED DOESN’T SOLVE THE PROBLEMS INSIDE OF YOU. You’re constantly insecure in your relationship? Marriage isn’t going to magically fix that. You’re still focusing on what your ex did that hurt you so badly? Marriage won’t magically solve that either. IT DOESNT MAGICALLY SOLVE ANYTHING!

Marriage is wonderful and I am lucky to be married to a wonderful man who loves me very much, and whom I love very much. Our lives are happy and we are very blessed.

However, I see so many young women who have swallowed the lie that if they can just get married, all their worries will melt away. If they get married, they will automatically be happy. NO! A wedding is not the end goal! A happy, healthy, balanced marriage is the end goal!

While you are single, take that time to work on the things that plague you inside. Your time as a single human is a GIFT. Don’t waste it, wishing for something else. Make your peace. Forgive your ex and move on, accept your self worth, learn that not all men are out to hurt you. Work on yourself to be happy in your single life and your eventual married life will be happier for it.

When you have made peace inside yourself, there are less wounds for your partner to try to heal. You can spend more time being happy and whole with that person, and isn’t that really the end goal?

Let’s take responsibility for the way we feel, the way we act, and even our own thought patterns.