Who is the best person to raise a child?

Question

My mother in law has no boundaries. She had a baby hope chest for our “future son” before we were even married. She expresses that she only wants a grandson not granddaughter. Now that we’re ttc she is saying how she will go to all the appointments and wants to be in the labor room for the birth. (Not gonna happen.) Worst of all, she keeps saying that “the best person to raise a grandson is his grandma!” That part really upsets me because its like she’s saying she thinks she’d be better at mothering my child than I would. 
My husband keeps trying to tell her to back off and tried to define boundaries, but she just won’t listen. Am I nuts to be offended by this? It makes me want a daughter just to spite her and it makes me not want to give her time with the future grandkid lest she, like, steal him or her...

Accepted Answer

This is a very general scenario applied to a very specific situation. The best person to raise a child is always the most capable party with the most vested interest. That can be the grandparents or the family unit, or a single parent, depending on the situation. 
In your case it sounds like you and your husband are the most capable and your MIL is sexist and meddlesome

Answer

I would limit the time she has with your child. She sounds like the type that would purposely undermine the parenting styles you two would have. 
The best way to get someone to respect boundaries is to enforce them.

Answer

You’re definitely not nuts. She sound completely overbearing and ridiculous. You’re right to want your distance. I would too.
That said, don’t let her get to you. You and your husband be best to care for your baby.

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Man what’s up with all of the crazy mother in law posts tonight?!

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Cut her off 🤷🏼‍♀️ she’s not respecting you or listening to you, so she doesn’t deserve the privilege of being a grandmother if she won’t listen and be nice.

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It definitely depends on the situation as to who is the best person to raise a child. As for your case your MIL is definitely getting too involved. It will be your child and she has no choice as to whether it’s a boy or girl. I think it’s ok to be offended by her statement because you obviously would be the better choice to raise your own child. She probably just thinks since she raised a child already that she’ll be awesome at raising her grandkid. You and your hubby should definitely sit her down and lay down rules. If she doesn’t respect them then you may have to get mean with her. It’s your child.

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Sounds like I’d be hiding my pregnancy from her if I were you.
This is some “the hand that rocks the cradle” type of mess

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I just wouldn’t tell her when the appointments are and then when it gets closer to delivery tell her she wont be in the room.

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Oh my god she’s nuts! She’s getting on my nerves just from reading that 😂. Be firm and put boundaries in now, if she isn’t listening then keep the convo going until she takes the hint. If she insists she’s going to be in the room just say yeah good luck getting in, they have security for this reason or something like that. Shut that shit down

Answer

Yeah, i think she is going to be a problem in raising the child. She sounds like the grandma that will say “ do it, we wont tell your mother “ and I personally do not put up with things like that.

Who is the best person to raise a child?

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