I’m so stressed !!!

Alright, so I’m a 16 year old girl and in Australia that is the legal age of giving consent. I recently acquired a boyfriend last month, and of course, him being my first at everything, we were seeing what we could do sexually. Boy is it a roller coaster.

I’ve had sex with this boy with condoms recently, but the other night as we were getting into it, I asked if he had a condom and he said no. I don’t know what was going through my mind at all that night but I just let it slide and we tried the pulling out method. It seemed like it worked, but my stress levels were getting increasingly higher at a very fast rate.

The next morning I had to go up to a hospital two hours away to visit my sister. I don’t think I have ever been so stressed in my whole life. As soon as I get in the car my mum asks me if there is anything wrong. Yah girl just started breaking down and crying her eyes out. So I decided to tell my mum the truth and she’s disappointed in me and my boyfriend, and upset that we didn’t use protection. I cried the whole two hours and my boyfriend did not know a single thing. I did tell him and he straight away became sad and confused.

Later on, he told his mum and she had the same thoughts as my mum, and so I went and got the morning after pill. A first I was thinking oh hell yeah all my troubles are gone, but they won’t be gone because that’s not 100% effective and it is only taking away the pregnancy side. My boyfriend could have an STI. I trust this guy so much so when he told me I was his first girlfriend and i was his first time with everything I believed him.

But I’m still so scared and stressed and I have no idea how to calm down because I’m disappointed in myself, so is my mum, so is his mum, and it’s eating me away. My boyfriend is quite sad because he doesn’t want to lose me (he won’t) and I just have all these mixed feelings, I’m so stupid and why did I not stop myself all that nonsense. I just need ways to de-stress and calm down honestly, also thanks for reading this if you have it means a lot xoxo