So I posted on here earlier today bc I wasn’t sure if I should test or wait a few days, and I have all kinds of crazy symptoms and everyone of course is giving me baby dust and good luck and to go test don’t wait... I already had my period it’s been a whole day and a half since, but it was really light and only lasted two and half days which is really odd for me.. well I yet again get my hopes up with everything that had been going on and I tested, I waited on the toilet as the minutes went by check my test and I got a BFN again... then I go to wipe again before I get off the toilet and it’s bright red, Mather nature at her finest sticking it in my face like a knife to the back... bad enough I already got the BFN when I knew I should have just waited but I couldn’t everything was happening like it’s supposed to and symptoms were on point, others even thought it was worth testing... like i literally just wanna roll up in a ball and cry.. it’s so hard trying and trying and we miscarried once and we’ve gotten through so much this year we’ve been ttc and we both want this so bad, we have done everything.. doctors keeps saying everything is fine and she’ll see me back soon with a BFP.. but it feels like that’s just getting further and further away anymore.. I try to stay positive and keep my head up.. but today is not one of those days 😢

And then I see all these people around me having children that have situations that make it a less chance of them being able to carry, and here they are popping kids out and I’m so happy for them but I’m so beyond jealous.. or people that just don’t deserve children that mistreat or abuse.. or people that truly are not ready or shouldn’t be the right time.. like why is it fair ? Im tired of being tired. Everyone says when you stop trying and worrying is when it’ll happen, I’ve tried.. and this is where that led me, mother nature’s cruel games..