So I kind of want to just cut the relationship off with my father. Here’s why:

When I was little (I know people are going to say not to use past against him but I can’t just let it go) he was on drugs. Not sure if he still is, but I believe he is because he is losing a lot of weight. He doesn’t eat healthy or workout either. Yes he was an addict so his drugs came before me. He used money for me for school for his drugs (from another family member as a gift at birth). Many times when my mother was working he was supposed to be watching me. Instead, he was shooting up his drugs and passed out. Basically neglecting me. He was abusive towards my mother. They divorced and he didn’t even fight for me. He let me go. Moved and he never contacted me. I had to start conversation with him. I told him about my rape and he justified it saying boys have hormones. He still rarely contacts me unless I do it first. But I feel guilty if I don’t start conversation with him, because he gives me money whenever asked (for clothing, mom doesn’t work). He gives me money for holidays and bday. So I feel bad, I didn’t call him to thank him for the money for christmas and I feel selfish for that. We texted on christmas, he wanted to call but i was with other family so I forgot, plus my phone died. That’s the last time we texted.

Am I wrong for no longer wanting a relationship with my father?

I feel like I am but I have started to resent him the older I get and realize the bad things he has put his family through.

I am NOT using him for money. I never ask for money or for anything unless I’m told to. Winter and spring is when my mother tells me to ask him for money, since he rarely pays child support.