Is there anyone else who is going through this exact thing??

Im so frustrated. Every month for the past 13 months been dissapointed, with BFN. And I tell myself every month, not to get all excited, and test like crazy at the first little feeling I might be. But I do, and I get mad at myself because just when I start to get my hopes up, AF shows up literally right after I decide to take that "first just in case PT".And it kills me everytime. it's like my body playing a cruel joke on me, just waiting for me to test, only to say "fooled ya" Well now though, Ive yet to start my period, for the month of January, and I know we just started February but I still feel that "maybe this it feeling" while at the same time just waiting for AF to come, so I can get the dissapointed feeling over with and out the way already! ugh....I have the bloated, and uncomfortable feeling, plus my breast started to feel sore, but since they are PMS symptoms as well. I dont know whether to get excited, since I am way late this time, or just expect the usual NO.