is this abuse :(

my husband has a gun. when we argue he tells me he is going to kill himself. tonight he said he was going to do it. he went upstairs and took his gun and shot it out the window. he knows im petrified of guns. one time he actually got mad and i was in the kitchen scared and shaking to death and litterly in panic and he held the gun to his head and said shut up now or I swear I will pull the trigger. he had it aimed to his head. tonight he threw his hat at my face and threw my phone on my foot. I have severe nerve damage because of diabetes. I'm so upset right now I just dont know what to do. is this abuse? he always says it's my fault I push him to this point. I swear I dont know what I do to make him mad.