So as i am very embarrassed to post this but i am in need of advice. I’m terrified to seek medical attention because of these thoughts . I have never been so depressed in my life . I’m 7 weeks pregnant . Me and my husband are constantly fighting i dint want nothing to do with him or honestly anyone else. If someone makes me mad ( this is we’re it gets bad) i can vision seeing my self kill them. No i never would but the thought processes and i just want to scream and yell. When i technically cant especially at my job. Also when i get upset with my husband i have thoughts if having an abortion . I have a two year old who ya been pushing my buttons of course because she is two and she makes me so anger sometimes i want to strangle her . In the moment this is how i feel but now for instance it’s insane and i would never hurt any one esp my family !! My babies mean the world to me. But i suffered bad anxiety depression and bi polar before pregnancy and it’s gotten so much worst. I’m not sure what to do. But i need some serious help.