Men CAN change!

I just want to say that some men can change, when their heart is in the right place.

When my husband and I first got together, it was Valentine’s Day, and he wooed me with a custom-arranged (by him) bouquet of flowers and dinner, with him wearing a shirt and tie that matched my yellow bouquet. I was smitten! We had a whirlwind romance and married fast.

Then things started to change. Periodically my husband seemed to become...not himself. I started to jokingly refer to him as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde until he started to get more verbally abusive and less complimentary. After only a year, the man I had married was gone and replaced with an aggressive, demeaning, unhealthy individual. I told him to seek help, he refused, so I filed for divorce. He finally sought help.

Turns out he had bi-polar disorder, among other things, for which he now takes medication. He has probably had it, undiagnosed, for 20 years or more. His life has really had a toll taken on it until he finally found a medication balance that works for him. It took two more years but he is now stable. For every Valentine’s Day since the first, I have been mostly forgotten about while he struggled with mental illness and I questioned my vows. I am not religious but I made a promise to him for life, and I was just starting to realize what that meant.

This week, my husband finally outdid himself, and proved that he is well and mentally and emotionally available to his family. He has been so kind and helpful this week, and such a good father since our son was born. First, my husband said he would be spending less time on his iPad so that we could talk more (😲) and then two days ago he brought home a balloon and some live mums (😱). I told him I was planning to plant mums out front and he said he remembered, then pointed out that the color was what I wanted (😍). Then yesterday he worked a double (he manages a restaurant so it was expected) but on his break he got me two bouquets of flowers and two boxes of chocolates, one of which specifically had mostly nuts and caramels, my favorites (💯☺️😘). He came home late with his arms full of flowers and chocolates and this big grin on his face because he knew he was killin’ it.

I can’t begin to explain how great this is! It is so not about the gifts, even though it is about the gifts, you know? He REMEMBERED! He remembered the details, and he was thoughtful. I am just so filled with hope and so glad I stuck it out. I could have bought myself a nuts and caramels box of chocolates and eaten them by myself but this is just so much better!

I got him some good gifts, too, don’t worry!