3 lost babies in one year...no pregnancy in over a year, wasting my time??

Was worried about posting as I have read so many stories on here but not many like my own and positing seems like admitting this happened. I guess I am looking for support or maybe just to get rid of some baggage. In 2015 I had three back to back miscarriages, the first in Feb I was 4 months, I had a surgical removal, the second around June which I discharged at home as the surgery was awful and I had a bad reaction to meds. The third was an eptopic pregnancy viable but implanted in my tube, I was about to board a plane the next day for my brothers wedding when I was told I couldn’t fly due to suspected miscarriage I refused to go to hospital saying I would just let it come out naturally and then they said it could be an eptopic pregnancy and I could die on the plane if it’s not checked out.

Long story short I went in, it was confirmed that I was bleeding internally so I wouldn’t have made the 14hour flight and I had surgery to remove the baby. Now my daughter who was 4 at the time had flown on with my husband and I had promised her I would meet her in Thailand, before surgery I was told I wouldn’t be able to fly, so I was in bits as I promised my little girl, by some magic after surgery another doctor said I could fly the next day with a letter with the airline, I got to my daughter and husband on the other side of the world and realised that in the craziness my only concern was getting to them and keeping my promise.

I have never really dealt with the loss, I mean I got sad a lot that year but as I have a child and husband I always stayed strong for them sometimes seeming like nothing had happened. My husband never wanted to talk about it but he has been so angry since all that happened and had since brought two dogs into the family saying to my surprise “at least we have two back” so here is the thing... (long winded I know) I haven’t been on birth control since 2015, I have never had a pregnancy since and have been actively trying for the last year. I can’t help but think that with only one tube and my passed history that I am just wasting my time. The problem is that both my husband and daughter desperately want an baby and I feel so responsible that i wasn’t able to give them that.

I just don’t know if I am wasting my time using this app and ttc.