To all the people who know me and walk around with jealous and envious feelings about me. You hate me because of the way people treat me. If only you knew what it costs me. To be the keeper of so many people's secrets and feelings. To be the one every calls to fix them when no one fixes you they look at you like you have all the answers. To have the world on your shoulders. Some days I know I am super I am fine I can handle it and others I am overwhelmed. My life has been hard and long and I'm only 39. So many people really hate me mistreat me stalk me make me feel small about a life I never asked for a strength I wish I didn't have. I have been neglected abused in every way a person can be abused abandoned betrayed and still I sacrifice and take care of everyone and everything. Even though none of the people making me miserable will read this i wish they could and that they would understand resenting hating and being jealous of me makes no sense if you knew what it is felt like to be me just for a day you would never want my life no matter how many people love me. That love and those gifts come with so much stress and work. I wish people could see that.