Heart broken

Kind of long sorry .

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for seven years , since I was fourteen years old, I’m now 21. The first two years of our relationship I made him wait to have sex with me because I told him I wanted to make sure he loved me before we had sex. Well he recently told me that he didn’t love me UNTIL we had sex and I’m heart broken . It makes me think everything he’s ever said or did was a lie and not genuine.

I also recently realized that he was not IN LOVE with me and when I asked him why he wasn’t he asked “why are you rushing me to fall in live with you” well it’s been seven years I don’t think that’s rushing. I’m so in love with him its dangerous . My hair has been falling out , I find myself randomly wanting to cry and I just don’t know what to do 😢 I’m just so hurt.....