Postpartum depression

I hate to think about it, but I really think I’m going to have postpartum depression. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and OCD back in 2016. I took Paxil and it really helped. And then I started [finally] dating the love of the my life and I quit Paxil cold turkey. I didn’t need it nor did I want to take it.

I’m now down to 12 days left in this pregnancy and I can feel emotions creeping up on me. I’ve had the best pregnancy in terms of support and memories and I’m not ready to lose all that because once the baby is here, she’s going to need all the attention.

I’m scared my boyfriend will suddenly care more about her than about me. I’m scared he won’t want to do things with me like just have an us day. We have date day every Thursday where we get lunch/dinner and/or go somewhere just to spend time together. He says nothing will change with that and that his mom is more than willing to watch our daughter whenever.

I’m scared I’ll feel left out when we spend time out with our daughter.

I’m so excited for her to be here because we’ve been waiting for nine months. It’ll be a big lifestyle change and we’re ready for it. But with my history with depression, I’m scared I’ll think too much about something and get upset easily.

What if he doesn’t want to cuddle at night anymore? What if he doesn’t want just us time?

I already got upset over it but didn’t talk to him about it. I don’t want to be like that. Our daughter deserves our full attention. I’m just scared he’ll stop caring about me.

I can’t be the only person who has these feelings, right?