Pregnant, jealous of newly pregnant friend and ashamed

I am 13 weeks after a very long road of miscarriage, IUI and IVF. Everything has been going great. Last week one of my best friends got engaged, then a few days later texted me a pic of a positive pregnancy test asking, “this is negative right? The line is so faint!” I could not believe it. It was unplanned but obviously they are over the moon. Ever since I heard the news I am sick with resentment. The thoughts in my head (which I KNOW are ridiculous) are: “Fuck you for getting pregnant accidentally right away when it took us so long. Fuck you for shoving it in my face when you knew how hard it was for me. Fuck you for stealing my pregnancy thunder— this is MY time.” And the worst one: “maybe she’ll miscarry.” I know it’s common for women struggling to ttc to feel jealous when friends get pregnant, but are there any other women out there who, like me, ARE pregnant and still get jealous of friends who get pregnant? If so, how do you deal with it? I want to be happy and excited for my friend. I feel so embarassed for having any thoughts besides that.