Hoe Tips for all you sexy hoes.

It's a hard life being a hoe, so here are some tips I use to make life easier on myself.

1. Throw away your shaving cream. Use coconut butter or oil to shave. Apply oil after you dry off. No burn, no stubble. ITS GOOD SHIT.

2. Don't use shaving cream OR coconut butter on your coochie though. Use Johnson baby oil or shampoo instead. You'll be razor burn free!

3. There ain't nothing wrong with your natural coochie smell or taste, but if you want to taste sweet, eat some cranberries. Shit works, I promise.

4. Stretch marks on your thighs? You should be proud of your stretch marks baby girl! But if you really wanna fade them, use coconut oil and Vaseline. EVER NIGHT!

5. Men's razors get a closer and cleaner shave than women's. (And they're cheaper) use those!

6. Please go pee after sex! Please! It prevents UTIs. No matter how good the after sex cuddles are, don't hold it in!

7. CARRY CONDOMS YOURSELF! Never expect anyone else to, you're a strong woman, you carry those Trojans in your pocket proud girl.

8. If you're breaking out, go to the supermarket and buy a cheap thing of tea tree oil. It works quickly and effectively! (& its natural!)

9. KAT VON D LIPSTICKS ARE BLOWJOB PROOF! YOU CAN GET MESSY AND THAT SHIT AINT MOVING! PROMISE, PLUS ITS MATTE!

10. In fact, matte makeup (lipstick, foundation, concealer) is best for sex. It's less likely to come off while you roll around in the sheets.

11. Want longer nails to grip someone during the dirty? Garlic on the nail beds, coconut oil on the cuticle. BAM long ass nails.

12. Add a 1/2 cup of apple cider to your bath, it'll reset your coochie's pH and leave you feeling and smelling gr8

13. Run a hot bath. Pour in your fave bubble bath. Soak in it. EXFOLIATE. Before you know that out rub coconut oil all over your body.

14. If you don't have the cash for an exfoliator, mix honey and white sugar for a lip one & coconut oil and brown sugar for a full body one!

15. Dry feet are nasty AF. Soak your feet for 10 mins and use a pumice stone to get the dead skin off.

16. For extra soft feet cover your feet in heavy duty lotion (like Aveeno) and sleep with socks on.

17. Lemon juice and baking soda will get out every cum stain on your clothing. Don't worry, I got u.

18. Wanna cover a hickey? Apply green concealer and pat it in then cover it with your own colour concealer, foundation then powder. HICKEY-BE-GONE!

19. If you want your coochie BABY SOFT (I'm serious!), invest in some Yoni Oil. Shit is magical, you can buy it at the supermarket.

20. If your hair is feeling lifeless massage some coconut oil in it at night and tie it in a bun. Wash it in the AM and you will have goddess hair!

21. Put your undies drawer into 3 categories:

I'm getting dicked tonight.

I wouldn't mind getting fucked in these.

I'm getting none 2day :(

22. On the days leading up and after your period, wear pantie liners on your fave undies. This has saved me so many times!

23. Putting 6-10 green tea bags in your bath will leave you feeling energised and your skin will be super soft and glowy!

24. If you're about to get dicked down DONT WEAR COTTON PANTIES. The cotton gets caught up in your thigh crevices.

25. Chloraseptic throat numbing medication helps with deepthroating! (Just please don't use it all the time)

26. DRINK. WATER. Most cliche tip ever. But it's true it keeps you energised, healthy skin and a good smelling coochie.

27. It's your fucking body. Have fun with it. Shave. Don't shave. Have sex. Save yourself for marriage. Have sex with whoever you want. Most important stay safe.

HAPPY FUCKING, KIDS!!!

😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚

(I FOUND THESE ON A TWITTER THREAD! Not mine, I just thought this was the best place to share these! Xx)