I’m not married to my babies daddy and probably won’t be for a few years, I’ve accepted that. But I want to name our JellyBean my last name and his hyphenated (I’m going to call my s/o M for clarity). I wasn’t sure a few weeks ago and thought I would be ok with just Ms last name but recently I’m thinking I want both mine and his.. here’s why

For starters I’m terrified of the day I’m asked to prove I’m the mother because the last name is different, it kind of feels like it’s taking away from me being a parent a little bit. Also he has a son from a previous relationship (let’s call him J) and J’s name is hyphenated as (fathers-mothers) and M isn’t the biggest fan but w/e J is almost 3, and that’s his name. I also personally can’t stand Js mother but I accept that it’s his mom, and he loves her and always will so she’s a part of my life forever now. I can be respectful to her for him. So that being said I’m also scared my child will go to school and there will be a teacher who doesn’t know me, but knows J and my baby and when Js mom comes to pick him up, will be asked why she’s not taking both her children or something along those lines. I don’t want her associated with my child anymore than she absolutely has to be.

Anyways I told M about my idea to add my name and he had an adult tantrum.. he said it’s frustrating that “my father and his stupid backwards views could get into my head like this” (my dad wants me to give the child my name so I could pack up and move across the country with them if need be...... my father is not smart and doesn’t get that’s not how it works) M then said “whatever I’m not talking about baby names with you right now.” And wouldn’t talk or really look at me. Then he got up and said he was going to bed and it was very weird and not like him.

Is one of us over reacting?? Recap for clarity: I want my name to feel more like it’s my child and not POSSIBLY hers.

M thinks my dad has brain washed me. Help??

Sorry for the rant :$