I'm sure it's normal, but oh man. I'm scheduled to begin induction in two days. We are as ready as we're going to get. But I can't help feeling like I'm not ready at all. This is our first child, and was very much planned, and yet I'm terrified for everything that is about to change. It doesn't help that I have no experience with newborns. I've never been drawn to babies. Sure other people's are cute, but I don't want to hold them. I'm afraid I won't know what to do with mine, just in general. I keep envisioning the doctor or nurse handing him to me in the delivery room and me just crying out of panic. Is this even real life? Am I seriously going to be giving birth in the next few days? DAYS. And then nothing will be the same. I am mourning the loss of things as I knew them, my marriage as I knew it. And I've read countless articles and blogs and books, saying that while of course it'll be different, it'll be great. None of them make me feel better. I'm sure I will figure out how to love this odd little wiggle worm, I'm sure I'll figure out a new normal, and I'm sure my husband and I will too. In the meantime, just please cross your fingers for me that I am better at this than I think I will be, and that I remember to be kind to myself.