Single not alone

I just want to send out a quick message to those who are single or even taken. Today I was listening to this pastor talk about relationship goals. I am catholic and single myself. However, his message does not have to apply for only those who believe in God. Just to make that clear. His words really got to me. I never knew how much being single is so important. Being single, is that section of your life where you find not only your identity, goals and desires .... but to love yourself. Sure you may have heard love yourself or no one will. But there’s more behind that. When your dating/relationship or married, you can only love that person at the level you love yourself. Some single people who aren’t content of being single view themselves not good enough..... whenever that happens they expect the other person to make up what you have been fishing for inside oneself. Setting up unrealistic expectations that will lead to disappointments and heart breaks. What I learned tonight is that you can’t enter a relationship or marriage without understanding singleness. That isolated time of being single should be taken advantage and making it worth it. Maximize your singleness. Unhappy singleness leads to picking out everything that is wrong with the other person in the relationship because you never learned how to love you. Some people try to figure out marriage AND singleness... it’s like water and oil it won’t mix... it will never work. Relationship issues will only lead back to issues while you were single. So he said what to follow PLACE (try to understand why where you are in life and how it will be beneficial) PURPOSE and then PROVISION (supplying your purpose and your given/chosen path) IDENTITY and lastly PARAMETERS (setting limitations and standards). That is what you should achieve before committing to another person. Relationship/Marriage is only good as your singleness. Those who are in relationships or married, all what is said DOES NOT mean the relationship with your S.O. is doomed from the start or will come crashing down. If anything, it can make it a stronger bond of wanting to making things better than before. That just depends on you. And one last thing, relationship or marriage does not improve singleness, it exposes it. That other person will begin to know everything that is to know about you. And those who are in relationships or leading up to marriage.... ask yourself if this person begins to know me the way I know me... would they still marry me? Anyways, I just thought to send that message out and I know not everyone will agree to what I had to say. But I do hope I helped out someone out there.