Advice??????

Si • Si

So, I was born female and ever since then I just haven't felt right... like. I feel like I'm a boy but I still like some girl stuff too. Like makeup but that's it. I don't exactly like she/her pronouns and prefer to be called anything other than my given name (it's super feminine 💀) I feel like I am a boy but I can't transition because family issues... Advice please???