His Grace is sufficient!!!

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I couldn’t go to church (because I was pissed), I locked myself in a room, I cried as much as I could, I was so bitter that I nearly ruined Easter for my family.

In my mind, I kept thinking; it’s either God doesn’t care or He’s punishing me. You see, I got pregnant my son immediately after my wedding so I couldn’t understand why #2 is taking forever. I’ve prayed my heart out, I’ve been on fertility drugs, I’d done what the doctor said and the follicles in my ovaries are still not growing.

I cried in my husband’s hands telling him how God seems to have turned His back on me. Hubby kept trying to reassure me that God is still with us, needless to say, I didn’t believe him.

In the evening, I was flipping through the TV channels because nothing new was showing then the only interesting thing was a movie ‘the Shack’. It felt like He was saying ‘my daughter, since your pain won’t let you come to me, let me show myself to you’. After seeing this movie, I cried again, this time for Him to forgive me.

I’m going back to check my follicles tomorrow, I don’t know whether or not they’d be improving but it’s okay, He has given me Peace. At His own time, baby #2 will come. I believe that His plans for me are of good and never of evil.