is it normal to have issues in a relationship that you bring up and want to fix?

Question

my boyfriend and I are both 26 but this is his first long term relationship (not the first for me). He's frustrated because he feels like I keep bringing up issues and things I want to change. I do bring stuff up, but it's almost always the same thing, which REALLY frustrates me. He's very individualistic and doesn't want to change for people and I feel like compromise is necessary in relationships and I try to do it. He thinks relationships shouldn't have issues and I don't agree. It makes me wonder if I'm actually being selfish even tho I feel like I have a right to want certain things. What are your relationships like?

Answer

It’s unreasonable and unrealistic to think relationships will never have issues. However, they should be energizing more than they are draining. So, without detail, it’s hard to say if the issues you have are healthy and reasonable or not. 
Reality is you can’t change anyone. If you keep bringing up the same issue with no resolution, you’re either incompatible or your expectations are off base. Either change your expectations, leave him, or accept it how it is. You will resent him and go crazy otherwise.

Answer

I think there’s always ways that both people can improve in a relationship. It’s unreasonable to think that neither of you will have to change or compromise.
However, without knowing the situation you of course, it might be in the way you’re presenting it. If it’s always you bringing things up for him to change and not acknowledging any of your own faults, it can feel defeating for someone.

Answer

Maybe the problem is what you’re bringing up and wanting to change? And you said this is his first serious relationship, he may not have had a good view of what compromise is, maybe it needs to be shown to him or explained. And don’t forget, if there are things you want to change about him, there are probably things he wants to change about you too.

Answer

People don't change for relationships, just keep that in mind. Yes you will have issues, good relationships talk them out. You definitely will need to compromise too. But you can't change someone. Without knowing what your trying to change, but in general.

Answer

I think he's a little naive for believing relationships don't have problems 😂

Answer

I think it's good to have solid communication

Answer

if there are issues and you want to fix them then i think thats normal and what makes a strong relationship in comparison to issues and avoiding them.

is it normal to have issues in a relationship that you bring up and want to fix?

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