So about 3 weeks ago my husband of 2 1/2 years and I were having distance problems. It had been 2 weeks without sex and only twice of “touching each other” but no real intimacy. Keep in mind, shortly before our 2 weeks of no sex, I had just spoke with my OBGYN and found the solution to pain with intercourse which I’d have, not every time, but often. We had intercourse pain free 3 times then for 2 weeks, nothing.

Finally one night he asked me what was wrong and I told him how I don’t understand his lack of interest, especially after we’re finally able to have painless intercourse. He gave me lame excuse after lame excuse. Finally I told him to just tell me the truth. He hesitated and said “well it’s your body. I’m not satisfied with it.” I asked what’s wrong with it (I’m 5’6” and 110 pounds with an hourglass figure). He said “well you’re breasts, they say since you nursed.” As much as this statement stabbed at me, it was true. Since nursing my now 16 month old daughter, my breasts are horrible. Nevertheless, it killed to hear him say that.

We’ve been through so much together. In the first 6 months of our marriage he admitted to being addicted to porn. I praise God he got counseling and free from it, but didn’t he learn anything from counseling? The counselor talked to him about fighting the battle by being satisfied with what God did give you, a wife.

We’ve talked about it since then and he’s apologize profusely saying he was selfish and it’s not my body that he’s not satisfied with, it’s just he hasn’t disciplined himself enough to making intimacy or his satisfaction in me a priority.

I appreciate what he’s said, but I have a hard time believing him and moving past my hurt. I feel like I really “let him off the hook”. Through the porn and this, I’ve always just loved him, both physically and mentally even when I didnt want to but never get that unconditional love back. I know I should love my husband like Christ has loved me, but to what degree? When can I just let my broken heart show? I feel like a punching bag. I’ve worked so hard to keep our marriage not only together but STRONG, and he seems to have it third on his priority list. Now I can’t even have intimacy without feeling like I’m putting on a face and pretending I feel loved when I actually feel so ugly.

Keep in mind with the porn, he admitted to me a week after I found out I was pregnant and when this happened 3 weeks ago, I’m 20 weeks pregnant with our second and feeling like crap.

I’d love advice from some godly Christian women out there!