Feeling a mess

Ashley β€’ Been with hubby since 10/15 πŸ’. Married 02/17. Mommy to baby boy Kaleb 08/19 πŸ˜πŸ‘ΆπŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§

So I'm hoping this is a safe place I can express my feelings and get some encouragement. My husband and I are ttc for our first. This is our fourth month, but the past three months I was stressing about if I was eating right, drinking enough water, BBT, I spent lots of money on the ava bracelet, opk, fertility monitor, and different things like that. This month I just said fuck it. If it's going to happen it will happen and I went back to drinking and eating whatever I wanted. Am I wrong for that?