Parents or boyfriend

I’m a middle eastern Catholic and my boyfriend is black. When my parents and family found out about my boyfriend they went absolutely insane - saying “how could you go against us like this?, why are you trying to bring shame on the family”

He treats me with so much respect and love and always puts me first. My parents will disown me if I choose him.

How do you choose someone you love over your family - your backbone. I’m so conflicted and sad. My parents just dont understand and I wish they did. They arent racist but they dont want this in the family. They also dont even want to disown me because it shames our family but they’ll have to if I choose him.

Help :(

Update —-

This is the third time i have tried to break up with him. the first two times I suddenly changed my mind and felt like I was losing something great (which I know that). Regardless of what I choose, I’m in the position of losing something. It isn’t fair to me or him for my parents putting us in this situation. When I try and talk to him about it he says I’m being negative and need to switch my mindset or else nothing will change. Just because I’m being realistic doesn’t mean I dont want a happy ending.

Heres some pictures of us.

I get really sad thinking about losing my first love. I just know I cant keep going back and forth saying “I’m willing to lose my family” and then “I’m not willing to lose them”. I know they may be willing to lose me but I dont want that.

This has been me for the last two weeks.