Struggling

Laura

I want to tell my story because I feel somehow it will help but I’m scared because I feel like a horrible person. I need to do something so here it is. I was nine weeks pregnant when I decided to have an abortion. I see all the women on here talking about there loss and it makes it so much harder. I had two miscarriages (spontaneous and own their own) and I have a healthy 3yr old daughter. I had preeclampsia with her and went into preterm labor twice. I was on bedrest for 20 weeks. I was nervous and scared when I got pregnant this time. But everything seemed fine. At six weeks I went to the ER for some spotting and was told I had a threatened miscarriage. So I tried to wrap my head around what that meant. But I stopped bleeding and went to the ob later that week and my levels had increased. Then two weeks later I started having shortness of breath and my blood pressure spiked. I could walk to the bathroom from my bed without having to stop to take a breath. They wanted to put me on bedrest again. I was only eight weeks pregnant. I knew what it felt like at 30 weeks with preeclampsia and this was close. What was another ten weeks going to bring? So I made the hardest decision of my life and went to an abortion clinic and took the pills to end my pregnancy. This has been the hardest week of my life. I feel like I’m a horrible person.