I love my husband. He's been my best friend since we were 18. We've been together for 6 years, married for almost 3, buried our son of 24 weeks in 2015. We've gone through so much together, essentially grown up, and matured TOGETHER....or so I thought. Its been a long road coming...many days where I've felt alone in my own home, a lack of affection, lack of comminication..but we worked through these things... THEN a few months ago I discovered sexual images sent to him from a friend of his that he's known for a long time. I understood that you can't help who sends you things, but you do get to choose your response..and his was...appalling. I won't get into details, but he said things that broke my heart! I moved my things into the other bedroom, and it hit home that I'm not putting up with this NONSENSE in my marriage. However, after talking and crying, and more of the same we decided to work on us, but we fell back into the rut, and I realized I didn't have trust.. I left. I went to my parents house in another state, and I stayed there about a month. I found my peace with Jesus 💜. I told him that we could talk after that time, and we did..we talked, we laughed, we cried, we started a new journey of prayer in our relationship.. I've been praying for trust, and guidance, and how to allow myself to feel vulnerable again in our relationship.. However, I've found that trust takes time..so I'll admit..I looked again, and I didn't like what I saw...no more nudes, but yet still pictures still being sent..talking about how cute she is, the size of her butt.... her oral sex capabilities. Even met up at church so she could get tables for her daughter's bday party(this wouldn't be that big, but of course he failed to tell me) I. Want. To. Kill. Him. I've been giving my all into this! Falling in Love with him all over again! Putting my heart, and soul into this relationship! I just don't understand this! Why want me back sooo much, tell me ALL these things, PRAY with me, but.. betray me... I know there are worse things he could've done, I KNOW there are women who experience worse, but I'm hurt 💔. I don't know, is this as big as it feels?