Need advice , long read, preggo & work
So I work at a heavy equipment rental place and there’s just me and my coworker . Anyways, my boss is a pretty nice guy always willing to help people out and do a lot for our small town community but the only problem is he’s kind of a controlling asshole with a severe case of little man syndrome . He always has to be in the know and a total know it all. He almost seems like he may have bipolar disorder . I never know when he will be in a good mood. I just need to vent, and perhaps for some support. Ever since I announced my pregnancy he has been nothing short of harassing me. Before he would somewhat pick on me but it was tolerable. He will yell (literally) and curse at me sometimes in front of customers . Am I perfect? Of course not but I am a good employee and he would always have nice amazing things to say about me and how I’m one of the best employees he’s had especially when the main boss of the entire company is around. His criticisms are the most random and absurd. Something that shouldn’t even matter nor did it matter before til magically it’s an issue now. For example, (I live in Alaska so winters obviously aren’t the greatest) this last summer when I first got hired I would wear leggings and nike shoes and a sweater over my tank top covered up appropriately and i even asked him if it was okay and he completely had no issue with it back on track winter comes around I start wearing appropriate winter boots that are insulated and waterproof and of coarse leggings or sweatpants ! Ever since announcing being pregnant suddenly I have to wear a certain type of leather boot and jeans and he will sit there and lecture the hell out of me I mean full on eyes bugging out face bright red and spit flying if i wear anything but . I wore a white jacket one day to work and he told me he will not tolerate me wearing that jacket go change immediately mind you I’ve worn this jacket numerous times and it has NEVER been an issue.
I was hired here being told by not only him but the main boss that I’ll start off as a cleaner and after 3-6 months I’ll slowly be learning more of secretarial work on the computer i.e paperwork for rentals ordering parts etc . It is written on my hired sheet exactly in detail what I’ll be doing as well. Every time I would attempt to do some of my training requested by the main boss man and my boss would come to the front from the shop area and look at me bewildered as if I were doing the worst things he’s ever seen and ask “w-what are you doing ????” Freaking out on me and my coworker (my coworker has been here since the store in my town opened. The main building for AER is in the closest city two hours away) and there will be times when my coworker will have me go file some paperwork for her just to get the hang of everything going on and my boss will see me doing something and flip shit asking my coworker why I’m doing her job and again why I’m doing it and there’s not really too much you can say to your boss cause well... it’s your boss . He deliberately singles me out with everything. There was literally about 6-5 minutes left of work I am continuously scrubbing at every little thing even things that I’ve already cleaned just so I stay busy and I don’t want to get yelled at for trying to do my training when I have nothing else to clean and anyways one customer came in that I’ve known for the longest time ever and I went to go say hello really fast . I mean what’s the harm in it? There’s 5 minutes left! Well, my boss came storming up front wide eyed face red just livid asking me and I quote “what in the fuck are you doing ? Why are you up here??” Yelling at me and I calmly explained to him I just came up for a second to say hello and he continued to yell saying “it’s not your fucking job go stay busy “ number one it should be part of my job because he was here to make a rental and I NEED to learn this stuff. I mean, I’m so frustrated because every time the main boss is visiting our store he is always asking how my training is coming along and i sit there so frustrated cause my boss is sitting there telling him this big story about how he’s slowly getting me more into it and even went as far to lie to him saying im starting to help out with contracts ! One last thing (i can go on and on about the things he does to me) so the other day he had me take a company truck to the city that is two hours away (it’s usually about an hour 30 or less if you go about 70-75. Way over the speed limit ) to pick up a couple fans we needed from another rental company. Before I left he made it extremely crystal clear not to speed or do anything dangerous and to be very careful he didn’t want me to be getting pulled over in a company truck and he jokingly said no burnouts . I left just a few minutes after 9 AM and got to the rental company by 10:05 AM . Within that time frame my cellphone died and i had no charger I immediately had a bad gut feeling about the whole thing so i try my hardest to get back to my town but on the way out I had already passed two different troopers so I refused to go over 65 the speed limit and of course my luck I got stuck behind a bunch of military convoy and everytime I would try to pass them a car would be coming so I was stuck and i eventually got passed them and I had a feeling to not speed and low and behold I passed another trooper! By this time I have such bad anxiety paranoid that my boss might very well be pissed for whatever reason.. I finally get to my town it’s 12 in the afternoon it was my lunch time I hadn’t eaten at all that day so I stopped by the local grocery store to grab something fast to eat and went straight back to work by the time I arrive it was exactly 12:30 on the dot my boss went to go pick his lunch up and when he came back it was 12:45 or so I knew because I was paranoid about him coming back and kept checking the time because the first thing my coworker said was “someone is happy about your trip to the city and back” *gulp* fucking great man . He came in the building like a raging bull in a China cabinet no exaggerating and just spit fire pissed at me accusing me of making extra stops not even giving me the time of day to explain why it took me merely 3 hours to get to and from . Going the speed limit it takes exactly 4 in a half hours to get there and back . He even went as far as to call the company that I went to to find out the exact time I got there (that’s the only reason I know exactly what time I got there because he kept throwing in my face ) just kept yelling to the point I was just bawling my eyes out because he was being so mean. Not to mention the fact that the company he called to confirm my time arriving there were so impressed with how good of a worker I was the boss asked if he could trade two of his employees for me! And they’re not the first people to try and trade me ! They were so pleased with my work. And he keeps bagging on me. One minute he’ll have so much nice things to say to people but he will treat me so poorly behind closed doors like I’m just the worst employee he’s ever had to deal with.
It feels like she's just making case to make me quit.� I go home everyday bawling my eyes out for at least an hour or so because of the way I’m treated. I mean I get so fucking stressed to the point that my stomach where my little sweet child is growing has a stabbing pain and I know it’s from stress (it’s not a pain that’s unbearable and should be worrisome but it’s enough to be like okay I need to stop stressing my poor child but I can’t control it) . Its to the point that I’m becoming severely depressed even to have suicidal thoughts ( I AM OKAY IT IS NOTHING TO BE WORRIED ABOUT I AM VERY HAPPY AND HAVE EVERYTHING TO LIVE FOR) I just get so overwhelmed from all this. Every single day I have anxiety about going to work sick to my stomach stressed. Today marks 7 weeks and 4 days for my peanut and this stress is reaching my limit.� My boyfriend is super supportive, a blessing, but it's still hard.� I still feel like I'm failing. I try my hardest for this job mostly because I love an a rural area so finding a job especially with my decent pay that I get is nearly impossible unless you work military. My boyfriend tells me it’s not worth to deal with a “cocksucker” like my boss and it’s not worth it for not only the baby but me as well. He is wanting me to be a stay at home mom regardless and he makes enough for us to live somewhat comfortably but I can’t just not work just for the fact that I’d go stir crazy and it’s in my blood to be a hard worker and that’s all I’ve ever been! It’s how I was raised and if I ever did less than what was more than expected idget smacked alongside the head (figuratively) and be told to do better than that which there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being an exceptional worker. It even says many times in the Bible to be a good worker ! I have a high school friend that is selling organic products she has just given birth a few months ago and it seems to be doing great for her but it’s also very difficult to get some sales in such a small area and I don’t want to have my boyfriend the only one with a check coming in that’s just not something I could tolerate with myself . I need some sort of income coming in but I’m so afraid that quitting would be a mistake . My father tells me to keep the job and it’s not worth quitting that my boss would’ve fired me by now if I was such a terrible worker and even tried blaming my hormones .. kind of pisses me off nobody but my boyfriend is taking my stress serious and I’m at my wits end on what I should do..... my concern is this will affect my Peanut.... it's the stress. I don’t know what to do. Should I risk quitting this job and attempt an at home business? It would give me a good opportunity to start my photography business up by I’m so fucking scared im at a loss on what I should do.... please help me. I need advice bad....
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