My ex boyfriend wouldn’t take no for an answer. Any reason I had to not want sex he dismissed as not good enough. I planned to wait until marriage to lose my virginity but he thought that was stupid so he got me drunk one night and took it while I was sleeping so I couldn’t use that as an excuse anymore. After that whenever he wanted sex I would either cave from him pressuring me or he would just do what he wanted anyway. After a few months of this I stopped trying to protest since it didn’t do any good and just let him do what he wanted. It was easier that way but I still cried every time we had sex. Every. Single. Time. During sex or immediately afterwards. He would just roll his eyes and say I was too emotional or overreacting or that I just wanted attention. I never said no and participated willingly but I feel like he should have realized that I didn’t want to do it since I was crying. He was my first boyfriend and was a great guy every other way so I thought this was normal. Our relationship lasted like this for three years and I’m only now realizing how bad some things were. But was it rape if I didn’t actually tell him no? I’ve spoken with a lawyer and he said that since I participated willingly and have no proof otherwise I can’t press charges.