2 years. UPDATE


Update: I broke it off with him, I broke up with him earlier today. I don't know how strong I will be, but for now I am holding my ground. He has come to my house twice, trying to work it out and get me back. He has been making me feel bad, and scarying me about his situation but so far I haven't let him back in. Thank you everyone for helping me get to this point, I just hope I can keep going strong.

Well at this point I bet you are all done hearing from me, and thinking wow you deserve this since you wont do anything about it. I am sorry.

Today is 2 years that my SO and I have been together. I was a little off at the beginning because I have been super depressed since what happened on my birthday. And he kinda ignored me the day before when I got home because I went to meet the person I will be working for and she helped fix my hair so I wasn't home when he got off work. He doesn't like that so he gave me the silent treatment, and when he did talk it wasn't much it just didn't seem like he care.

Anyways so this morning I was depressed because the day before it hurt my feelings cause he keeps telling me to get out of the house so I did and he got mad. So I just tried to not let it bother me so the first time in months I did my make and got dressed really nice. Babysat my sister like always, and he was texting me actually texting me. Having conversations, he normally doesn't. usually its yea okay mhm cool fun, but not this morning he actually engaged in what I was saying. It was so nice, it helped left me up, and then randomly two hours early he surprised me with a rose a soda coffee monster, my favorite candy and goldfish. All my favorite junk food, he scared me whe he knocked cause I was by the door making food but it was such a nice surprise. I don't ever leave the house unless its with him, or that time I went with my mom to meet the lady that I am gonna be working with and who fixed my hair so I wasn't able to get him anything at the time, and I didn't have time to make him anything because I was babysitting and there are things I need to do when I first get up in the morning and do during the day so I don't get depressed and fall back into a really bad spot. I work out, get dressed make my bed clean my room, clean the kitchen and clean the bathroom.

I wasn't expecting him home so eqrly so I thought I had time, but I didn't. I told him I didn't have time to get him anything or make him anything he said it was fine. We went on our day, my moms friend gave me clothes to give to him so he spent the day trying them on and picking out what he liked. He later left and went to his moms house to shower and work on his truck and get ready for out date. I was able to get his card and letter done in those few hours while still babysitting.

Fast forward to our date it was nice we got dressed up a little I wore a dress we went out for Chinese food and he took me too get a phone card so I wouldn't lose service. I also got him his gift, because he was upset that I didn't have anything for him. I got him

a 36 inch duffle bag on wheels cause that's what he wanted, yea it was pretty exspenive but I don't care my goal is to make him happy. Just a little info he didmt get me anything for Christmas or my birthday and he only got me candy on valentines day and for our two years. I am not complaining at all, but he was mad that I didn't have anything for him. But I still haven't gotten anything for those holidays. For valentines I got him one of the newist play station 4 games there was at the time and he never plays it.

All night and day he really is only talking about sex and how that's all he want and the only thing he cares about. Which is fine sex is such a close and amazing thing and with our new living situation he doesn't get actual sex a lot. He gets oral but not sex sex. Even tho he preters oral over anything else.

We get back to my place and I find out I have to babysit more and take care of my sick mother and my SO has to get up at 3 am to go to work so I promise him ill make it up to him tomorrow when he doesn't have to wake up so early. He is getting ready to leave and he is like I was all your attention I just want all of you to me. I say you have all of me I don't talk to anyone anymore because it upsets you. He just looks at me ans says I hope so.

Later on he says he is going to bed and tells me he wants me to go to bed too, he always makes me go to bed as the same time as him and stop using my phone. I say of course I always do, we say goodnight and every thing.

while I was sending him tedt messages that were long ones I sent him 4 and all four were sent and it was over facebook messenger so i can aee when he recieves them by the bubble so I saw that he wasn't on and the bubbles weren't being colored in meaning he wasn't connected or something. I didnt care he could have been busy. it was like that for 15 minutes. He gets back on and tells me he has a funny feeling

he doesn't have all my attention. He things I was taljing to someone. So he asked if he got onto my account right now would he see anyone else that i was talking too. I said there are messages saying I am connected to people causr they added me on facebook and there was this guy named Joe who had been messahing me but he was on mute cause I don't talk to people. I use to work with him and he had special needs and I had been ingoring his messages for a few days and I felt bad so I answrred him once yesterday and once today. Not really talking jusy saying ome or two words.

That pissed him off and he went off on me calling me a liar and asking if I was delelting message. And I said no if you go on you'll see all that. He didnt believe me.

I started crying and getting sick, physically sick I throw up 3 times while this was going on. I asked him why he was accusing me if he didn't go on and see my messages whay would make him think that. I know he went on I can see he didn't I don't care but he was like no I didmt I didn't I didn't. But was calling me a liar.

He said sorry and he is just a fuck up he wishes he never said anything at all. i told him it was important that he told me how he felt but not accuse me. He just kept saying he was a fuck up.

He has lied a few times and I have caught him but he never admits to it, he calls me a liar all the time. And if I have proof he aays it was in the past or just says you lie to so you're a hypocrite.

I just feel so sick and like I cant handle all this anymore. I get in trouble if anyone messages me or talks to me or even looks at me. its so stressful and I just domt know. I love him, but he did something worse than on my birthday which was the first of april now not even a month later he do something again. And this time I puked 3 times because of it.

I don't know how to fix it or make him realize how much it hurts cause I tell him but he does it still. when will he learn? when will he stop?