I had good time with my baby last night


Yesterday was our two months and we went to our first dance, and first night to spend together. I nearly fell asleep on his shoulder by around 10:30pm and he asked me if I’m ready to go home and i nods my head. We were playing around, like bitting each other on the shoulder 😂💓 I called him as werewolf because he’s always warm and hot, and i always calls myself as cold as vampire. He was very happy that we made it through two months without having a stupid fight which other relationship does. And he’s sad now, because June 6th, is my last day being here, leaving to Arkansas, and I’m noootttt so ready to leave him. So we made plans, to go out and makes more memories, my parent doesnt cares if I wanted to hang out with him. So when I whispered to myself that I’m fat and I wasn’t happy for myself because i always get names calls on me, and he heard me and he rushed over and hugs me and gave me some lovers kisses and told me that I’m not fat, I’m perfect, with big ass and fucking big boobs, and thick thigh, and I hated it. I wanted to be skinny. Before I told my boyfriend that I used to be a suicide kid because I always get cheated on or using me for attentions or pretending to be my friend, I used to cuts so much on my thigh and my arm. It all started on my birthday last years, by being raped, and nearly opened to my parent until summertime. So when I had anxiety attacks when my breathing stopped working and I was at the church group and I stepped outside to get a fresh air but instead I had chest pains and I fell on my knee and covering my chest and trying to breath, my leader, saw me and rushed over and called the paramedic, and rushed me to ER and I was out for over five hours and after I woke up by next day, I thought I would see my parent but instead, there he was, with bloody red eyes from sobbing so hard, he was holding my hand and telling me that I will be alright. That was over few days ago, I didn’t went to school until yesterday... I was angry at my parent for not being there with me at the hospital. When I went back to school, the sounds, and everyone was being loud and it complete scared me. I knew that o wasn’t ready to go back to school... so when I went back home, I went up to my bathroom and I picked up a razor, I was feeling lot of pains, from bullying and calling names, and I thought cutting was only escape, so after I cuts one time in my thigh and I heard a doorbells, i went down and saw my boyfriend with the poster and asking me to be his Sadie’s date. I wasn’t in happy mood. He saw my thigh with those scars and I hesitated because I forgot that i was wearing my pjs short. I had tears in my eyes and he was fighting his tears, he threw the poster down and pulled me into a hugs and whispered into my ears and telling me that I needed to stops and he always will loves me no matter what. I thought he would leave me if he knew that I’m suicide. So i told him everything, my secrets and why I’m suicide, and he didn’t judge me, he just being understanding, he decided to watch a movie so he made my happy food, Sloppy Joes, and popcorns, he put on a The Pretty Little Liars on, he knew my favorite tv shows. I told him that he doesn’t have to do this for me. He turned to me and gave me a passion kiss, and he told me, “I’m not leaving you, not even if your being like this, and I know that you used to be lonely, but not anymore because I’m struck on you, nothing will come between us, I will be here with you so you could begin your healing, you might feels like your not worthless but trust me, you are loved by me and my father. And your sister and brothers. I love you with my whole life until the ends. There no freaking way that I will leave you. I promise.” I was in tears and he pulled out a promise rings and i was in gasped. I really loved him. And I didn’t realized that he had changed my life until now. He stood by my side for two years and he never left me. I love you Martin Mija