Does it drive you crazy if you don't know if you're pregnant?

I am having every single symptom of an early pregnancy but all my tests are really light positives if that (Idk if I'm seeing things). I would be 9 days after ovulation. I have 2 days till I'm supposed to get my period. I feel like I am going crazy not knowing. I've been trying so long to conceive but trying so hard to convince myself I'm not pregnant. (it would hurt to much to hope than get torn down) Any opinions on what I should do. it's hard not to obbsess because of my mental disorders. Mainly bipolar, anxiety, and depression.