why is she looking at me like I'm a bad mom when i just want to protect her?

Question

my daughters 5 years old her father and i split when she was just a couple of months. he wasn't the worst man but our relationship was toxic. shortly after I meet my husband that I now have 2 boys with, my daughters father hasn't had a stable home since we've split so even tho he managed to call her everyday theres also been times were he won't see her for months. he just came back a little less then a month ago after being gone for 6 months and is now living with his sister. since he's came back shes asked to stay at his house almost everyday at first i thought why not she just misses him but then i started to see a change in her attitude. she's become aggressive, demanding, bullying her brothers and all her manners are gone. so i sat her down and also spoke to her father and told them i thought only sleepovers on weekends was best for now. well after having that conversation with her, she went to her dad and told him I didn't want her sending time with him ect, ect! long story short she now wants to move with her dad obvisiouly I said hell no but now I'm looked at as the bad guy and being told i should give him a chance 😠😠😠

Answer

He is the “Disneyland Parent” so of course she wants to be with him. She probably has no rules or boundaries at dads house. My suggestion is to sit down with dad and make a schedule of when you have her and when he has visitation. Schedules are everything to a 5 year old. Also, y’all need to sit down with her and explain that each house has rules and she needs to follow them. If she does not, she will be punished accordingly. Little kids thrive on consistency. It sounds like she has that until dad came back. Good luck, mama!

Answer

He’s letting her do whatever she wants, that’s why! If he doesn’t have rights, I wouldn’t let her over there for over nights at all until it stops

Answer

She’s 5. You know what’s best for her. Sometimes being a parent means not being a friend. Her Dad is probably letting her do whatever with no consequences and from a child’s perspective of course that’s more fun. You are the one that makes the rules, ultimately you are helping her grow into a good person. I’d keep your weekend only plan, otherwise your daughter may become more difficult. She’s only 5 now and acting this way, imagine if this continues and she’s 10, or 15!

Answer

Does he have any visitations rights.  
I get where you are coming from. But that is her dad. Even if he not the greatest at it or at life. My mom and dad had different rules.  At my mom’s there was a lot less I could get away with.  Kids don’t understand. They think dad will let me way not mom. Will mom just a meany.  I want to go live with dad.  I’m sure I said that a few times to my mom when I was little.   Hell my dad kidnap my brother and I when I was 4.  I didn’t see my mom for over a year.   When I did I believe everything he had said about her.  I didn’t want to go back to her but was made to. Thank god.

why is she looking at me like I'm a bad mom when i just want to protect her?

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