Am I wrong?

Question

I've decided that anyone who has not checked up on me during my pregnancy will not be around my baby much. 🤷 It's sad because I'm talking about family.. not friends.  I have 3 sisters and not one of them has checked up on me or even asked, "how are you feeling?" "how's the baby doing?" etc. Not one time. I just know for a fact that once my son is born they will all want to be all over him. 🤦 That's exactly what happened when I had my daughter. So, I decided not to tell anyone I'm in labor at all until the baby is born and I feel comfortable telling them. Whether that be the next day or a week after he's born. 🤷 My son's father says I'm wrong for this and I should just tell them and let them come to the hospital to see our son.  Am I wrong for what I want to do? Or is it justified?

Answer

Just my opinion and I don’t know that whole story, obviously but I think your wrong. I think your being selfish and petty because nobody asks how your doing. Most don’t understand or forget how hard pregnancy is. I really don’t care if people ask how I am during my pregnancy it only matters how they treat me and baby once he’s here. And once he’s here they better be loving up on him that’s what matters not how often they ask about him while pregnant.

Answer

I don’t know the whole story here but I was reading through the other comments and I just don’t understand anyone on any of these types of posts commenting that it’s “wrong” to “withhold” a baby from someone, for any reason. Unless they are father of said baby (provided he is not abusive or toxic in any other way) I don’t think anyone “deserves” time with YOUR baby unless you want them around. So if you’re otherwise close to your sisters but you’re just feeling a bit sad/hormonal that they didn’t check on you, maybe just let them have it and tell them how you feel and see if they shape up. But if you genuinely don’t want them around your baby because they’re being the worst, that’s up to you. No one else.

Answer

I don’t think you’re wrong.  They are your sisters...it isn’t hard to drop a text.  I’ve had co-workers go out of their way to find my phone number to ask how I am doing.  My boss even checks up on me and he openly admits to having a hard time showing emotion properly.

Answer

Nope not all...the only time is seems my family texts or calls me is if they need to borrow some money. An my oldest sister will definitely not be nowhere near my son! She's so full of drama an starts stuff an she's 34!! I haven't talked to her basically my whole pregnancy! When I was trying to conceive my son she told me to just stop trying! I had a chemical pregnancy before this one an this pregnancy was supposed to be twins but I lost one an she's just so rude about it!! My ex has twins an she said my husband probably thinks it's my ex! Eww raises my blood pressure just thinking about her!!! lol

Answer

we're not telling anyone when I go into labour. all of our family is a few hours away so it's not like they'll come to the hospital anyways. My SO doesn't want to deal with endless calls and texts while I'm in labour either and instead focus on me and the baby. We will call everyone once the baby is born and have told them that we're having a week alone, no visitors friends or family.

Answer

Personally I think your stance is kind of wrong. Granted I don’t know you or your family, so my opinion could be wrong. But I would never withhold my child from family who wants to be around them, even if our relationship is tense, unless there was a very obvious reason - like abuse or something like that. We tell family when I go to the hospital and then allow them to be involved how they want. My dad doesn’t come to the hospital because he doesn’t want to have to be around my mom and her husband. I get that! He comes and sees the baby once we’re home. Some family wants to sit in the waiting room but not actually come see the baby or visit once we’re home, and honestly, that’s the scenario I have a harder time accepting. Ultimately, you and your husband need to make the decision together though, and be ok with what you choose. Know you won’t make everyone happy.

Answer

Before I got pregnant I thought it’d be easy if you just did some yoga and drank green juice. WRONG. Do whatever you’re comfortable with—if having them crowd you in the hospital when you’re still hurting from how they treated you is how you feel, then don’t let them come.

Answer

justified

Answer

Just remember we all get busy.  Not trying to excuse the behavior because if it hurts you then it needs to be validated. 
I think you need to talk to them about it and tell them you would appreciate them being there more during the pregnancy because you love them and they’re your family.  
I tend to think that people don’t always know what to say or what to do if they haven’t been pregnant themselves.  I’m sure if you said something the light would turn on and they would realize they may be being a bit selfish.

Answer

I haven't spoken to my sis sin e 11th march! She has not even messaged me to ask how things are going or anything. Will occasionally tag me in something on fb to do with the baby and thats it. She does not want children so i wonder if she is just not interested. She has bought him some clothing but makes no effort otherwise. I think she will be acting like all is ok when baby arrives but it is not fair...

Am I wrong?

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