Husband Rant

Crying as I type this. I feel so hurt & disappointed by my partner. I never thought I would have to beg for compassion from him, especially while being pregnant. 28 weeks, I had a check up today & ran into my old highschool friend who is also pregnant. After we get home I say how it was nice to see her & she's due sometime next month & my husband says "Wow, really? You look a lot bigger than her." I know my hormones are crazy right now, but the second he said that I felt my heart sink in my chest. My husband knows I've battled with body dysmorphia/anorexia/bulimia/obesity/depression all of my life. And he knows how sensitive I can be when it comes to self-image. According to him, he didn't think he would hurt my feelings by saying that. But how could it not? My friend is 5'8, athletic build & all belly, & she's a month ahead of me. I'm 5'3 & 180 pounds & especially now, I feel like a beached whale. Even after I explain how damaging & hurtful it was to say that, it's like he doesn't understand. It's been this way throughout my entire pregnany. I don't know how many times I have to ask him to think about what he says before he says it because of how sensitive I am. He disregards it as "hormones" and pretty much says "well, you'll get over it". Even after I lay crying in bed, he makes minimal effort to comfort me or resurrect the situation. And now im sitting in another room crying, while he sleeps......because the best thing to do after you insult someone is to invalidate their feelings, and take a nap. My depression is getting to me so bad. the urge to self-harm

gets stronger & stronger everytime something like this happens. I would never self-harm while pregnant, but the urge to do so has never been stronger. I feel so disconnected from everything. Especially my husband at the moment. I don't know how to fix it or make it right. Sometimes it feels like it will never be alright. With every blessing in life comes a price to pay. Is this my punishment? Forever being misunderstood & neglected by the one person I love & trust most.