Devastated

We have been trying for four years, and have been back and forth to the doctors, being referred for tests, scans and samples, only to find out today. My husband has a 0 sperm count. He took it in his stride like he does and said to the doctor, “we will find a way and look at options” me on the other hand burst into tears with the thoughts of “what happens if I can’t have a baby with the man I love, where do we go from here, how do we afford ICIS” a million and one thoughts rushed through me in those few minutes the doctor was explaining that our previous lab results were actually incorrect and that when they told you your husbands sperm count was low but fine, it was actually all wrong and the past few years of testing, trying and waiting to see a specialist was a waste of time. Each ovulation test, pre seed and pregnancy test were a waste of money, each faint line was either line eyes or an evap, each twinge in your stomach, small bleed, sickness and sore boobs was just your body having abit of “fun”. You now lye there on your bed wondering why it happens to good people, why it happens to those who are desperate for a child, will your husband still love you despite the chances of you having a child together is so low, does he love himself anymore as he watches your pain. Infertility is a bitch!!