I’m highly embarrassed to post this, but I just need some insight from strangers because my friends support everything I do

& thats not what I need. My fiance has a year 1/2 year old, and babymom that is your typical petty / “life-ruining” ex. As usual, everything he does she blames on me. ((She’s just heartbroken, it was a messy break up.))

There is always huge drama going on because she just cannot stop, and I’ve had many sleepless nights because she is seriously THAT stressful. This baby he has, could potentially not be his, and were getting a DNA test today. Now, I am not the one for blended families. I want my first family to be OUR first family. 1 family, just us, nobody else. And before somebody says: “you knew he had a kid.. you knew what you signed up for”, honestly, I thought the DNA thing would’ve been cleared up by now where I could know what my next move would be. 😭

I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what the hell I should do. A half of me wants to abort it (pill) because I won’t get that “moment” that I’ve always wanted. If this test comes back positive, I won’t give him his first kid while this will be mine. It won’t be the same. I don’t do blended families (I came from one, I just don’t want my own family to be the same) and it’ll just be promised family drama for my little one. It’ll be nothing but a stressful, miserable, & depressed pregnancy because of the whole situation, and that’s not fair to baby. I just don’t know what to do, or how to look at this. I’ve told him how I felt, and he doesn’t have much to say and because I know he hears where I come from.