Mother's Day

I am just now coming to the realization that this holiday is close by. My due date would have been close by & im empty handed. I won't have anyone celebrating me, & I feel to lost.

No one I'm close to has experienced this type of loss. I lost 3 babies & I loved each one. There are no words to describe the feeling I feel when I think about them. There's a rush of so many things in one moment I never thought I could feel.

No one will understand it unless they've experienced it. While my husband has been my support, he doesn't understand why my grief comes in waves. Some days I'm great & days like today I feel so empty.

I refrain from sharing too much of those feelings with him because it really pushes him away from trying again.

I have my faith, & I know the God I serve healed me from cancer. But this is so different from that & I don't know how I can move past the fact that, Mother's Day is coming & I would have been, but am not yet, a mother. 😔