Does anyone else secretly plan their wedding out?! Lol

Lol so I’ve been sick in bed all weekend on my deathbed bored out of my mind. So I started planning my fake wedding.

Now, because I almost got married once and called it off 30 days beforehand (thank god) and have a dress and everything, I’ve learned some pointers on what I will not be doing next time. I’d like to share those.

1) if you aren’t paying for it all, you don’t have control. Not to say some parents aren’t nice and let you control your own wedding, but mine weren’t lol. I was TOLD what I was going to do, needed prior approval, and the venue fit 200 people. I couldn’t even fit any of my own people with my parents and in laws first lists. And listening to them whine and bitch about it was a special kind of hell.

2) I would constantly be bitched at by my MIL and mother. We were already over capacity with sent invites by about 15 and every time I got a no, my MIL would try to make me send another one out. My mother would then bitch at me. But they never spoke to each other about it. My mother would also do this. I secretly think her anger was that SHE wanted to send another invite, not that doing that to begin with was stupid on many levels. I told them both if we were over capacity that night- they could deal with the person who didn’t have a chair.

3) I did EVERY. DAMN. THING. MYSELF. My dad cut the checks then I was left to my own devices to cut, print, make and send 200 handmade invitations including the rsvp cards and wrapping them with some stupid mesh shit and ribbon. The parents wanted that fancy classy appeal yet nobody wanted to help me. My bridesmaids were useless except one. I did make her my maid of honor the last week before I called it off because I’m dumb and didn’t have her in that position from the beginning. My shower was a joke. My mother was useless and so were my bridesmaids and my ex aunt was delegating like Hitler for who knows what reason. The only thing done helpful was my mom telling her to stop. But only because it involved drama. I was physically ill the day of my shower and had to drink 6 beers to get through it because I single handedly did all of it myself and I was mentally and physically drained. When serving time came- every bridesmaid was outside nowhere to be found. It was so freaking horrible. And nobody could just DO anything everyone was yelling my name, I felt pulled in every direction.

4) my fiancé worked crazy hours and refused to take time off to do a single thing like meet with the DJ. This was the beginning of calling it off. Mind you, he worked for his father and tried saying he couldn’t get time off. This was the straw that broke the camels back.

5) I come from a long line of alcoholics. You could say this relationship was a lot like Romeo and Juliet- both sides did not like each other. Our roots go back wayyyy far in our tiny town. We did not need 5 hours of open bar. Yet we had it. After I called off the wedding I actually started going to AA. Proof is in the pudding lol.

6) I was literally forced to have a catholic wedding by his grandmother. I absolutely did not want one. It was stupid in my own personal opinion and cheaper at the venue. He didn’t care either way. But I gave in to keep the peace- but I was pissed about it. Nothing against catholic weddings, they’re beautiful. But we didn’t want one.

7) it wasn’t our wedding anymore. It caused so much stress and animosity and anger and everyone was taking it out on me yet not one thing was in my control. I hated life by the time my wedding month rolled around and it took a major toll on my relationship. Yes he cheated and lied and dogged me- but I firmly believe the stress of all of this led to our demise. I was a miserable bitch by the end and not excited or happy at all and getting out was the most weight lifting feeling ever. Him and I are actually good friends- we were together for 5 years. It was obvious once we split the wedding was a terrible idea. Sometimes I wonder if that never happened if we’d still be together but I’m glad we’re not. We’ve both moved on and are so much happier with our new SOs. There aren’t even hard feelings.

With that said! I’ve learned I absolutely do not want a lavish wedding. I literally don’t care about the mesh or the ribbons or the unnecessary crap. If I pay for it all, I get to choose every single thing. I’m going to make all of my own food- I want a taco bar. I even want to try my hand at making my own cake. I learned it’s more important to be happy and enjoy the man, the feeling and the day. Not wtf everything looks like and impressing 150 people twice my age I don’t even know. I want to either rent a tent or go downtown and get married on the street, hang out at the bars for an hour, take pictures, and go back to my tent or wherever the hell I rent and eat my freaking taco bar. It DOES NOT need to be this giant insanely stupid ordeal. And I’ll be damned if I have a giant wedding party again. I’m ordering post cards, throwing it all together myself and having a buffet. And I will have ONE maid of honor and that’s it.

I learned so much and saw the ugly side of so many people I never knew was there. I watched it tear families and relationship apart and I watched people allow the drama demons to come out of their cages. It was ridiculous and I won’t make that mistake twice. And I kept my dress. It was 2500 dollars and I bought it for me, not him. I’ll definitely be wearing that again.

So with that said- for those who had a great wedding and budget friendly, what things did you do to keep it cheap/make it special? And if anyone can relate to me, feel free to vent!