Heart broken & just stupid.

Emotionally trapped. I’m caught between being in love with my partner but still having feelings for an Ex. How tf dose that work?! Things ended horrible with my ex I knew my now partner before my ex. Adam (my partner now) was my best friend but i fell too hard too soon and he didn’t respond the way I wanted him too, so I decided to keep him around as my best friend/ f-buddy but i time apart from him at the time 3 years still trying to tell meself I didnt love Adam, I met Max (my ex) and let me tell you it was the most amazing winter, spring, summer of my life!! We were both very much heavy into out feeling when one night changed it all! I was with Adam and one thing led to another and shortly after I found out I was pregnant, Nothing hurt more than having to tell the man who actually loved me, that i was pregnant by someone else. Max was beyond hurt he was in love and At that point I was too but one drunk night got me pregnant by Adam. Max was so determined to keep my by his side he offered to take care of me and pay for my abortion. But i couldn’t. So here i am 9years later with a 6 year old and a 8m old but I’ll always feel like Adam settled down because I got pregnant. And we’re trying to make it work I’d like to think we’re good but I still feel some type of way because he didn’t wanna a relationship until i got pregnant. I’ve confronted Adam in the past about it and he’s told me if that was the case he would have been long gone, but i feel otherwise. He can be so cold sometimes. I know in my head I’d never do anything to compromise my family I grew up in a broken home and i don’t want want that for my kids. But I cant get over Max. He will forever be the one who got away. We talk on social media here and there and I know the feeling is mutual but it will NEVER BE. It’s hard to let go. What should I do? My heart doesn’t wanna let go but my mind is telling me to move on & embrace the life that’s trying to work itself right before my eyes even if this feeling is killing me inside.